The Abductor

Liudmila Trafimovich (Людмила Трафимович) is my ex-partner
and the primary Abductor of Anthie’ and Alexandra 

Before our children were born, there was no “competition” around Liudmila. But, after they were born, she suddenly realized that the world would not revolve around her only, and taking care of the children also requires a lot of work and self-sacrifice. 

Once you read how the abduction happened, you will understand that there were clearly early warning signs in her behavior that should have made me alert. Such as her strong desire to control everything or to prefer confrontation versus compromises, and, most importantly, her thirst for power and her attraction to extremism (religion, etc.). In addition, Liudmila could never stand the fact that our children loved me a lot because she was jealous of that. Yes, of our own children loving their father.

Her ongoing emotional issues quickly worsened and required the care of a professional psychologist. And, because later, she also fell for an extremist church with Putin supporters. As you can imagine, this was definitely not an ideal combination for having a normal family. So theoretically, I should not be even surprised that, in the end, she abducted our children.

Our children are just a commodity for her, which is a persistent feature in other abductors’ personalities (numerous papers have been written about this), something that can be moved from one place to another without any more profound thought. And finally, once the kids were abducted, they would belong to her, and her only in her mind. In general, these people do not see children as free human beings having the right to their own lives or life paths. 

The goals of the Abductors are to:

First – to hurt the other party (the left-behind parent because this satisfies the Abductors’ own ego). The second thing is to have complete control and power over their abducted children to inject into them any ideas they want. Things get worse if the Abductor happens to be Belarusian because it is OK to abduct children in Belarus, especially if you are a woman. Because, in their minds, children belong primarily to their mothers. 

The man is viewed mainly as a
free sperm donor and money provider

Minsk-Belarus 2004-2006

How did it all start?

I met Liudmila through a dating service called Russian Woman Network in early 2006. My first letter was handwritten, and it included a short presentation of my personality, intentions, and background.

At that time, I lived in Hellas (Greece). Still, I traveled very frequently to Sweden to visit my parents’ grave, meet my friends, and look after the flat that I inherited from my parents. Liudmila and I met for the first time in Vilnius in April/May 2006.

Liudmila visited me a few times in Greece and Sweden before she arrived to stay permanently in Stockholm in April 2008. I also visited her in Minsk a couple of times between 2006–2007.

During one of my visits to Minsk, I had the opportunity to meet with all her family in her home, where I was invited for dinner. Her family’s home is located in an old area of Minsk, which is in huge contrast to the center of Minsk and in significant need of renovations.

Inside her home, I immediately noticed how she and her mother interacted with her father, Mr. Arkadiy. They treated and talked to him ruthlessly. I quickly understood that her elder sister had a closer and more sincere relationship with him than her mother and Liudmila. In addition, her mother, Tamara, behaved in a very authoritarian and dominant way to everyone in the room, including me. Naturally, I was agitated, but I tolerated it because I was a guest.

Later on, I asked Liudmila why she and her mother treated their father with this kind of attitude. She informed me that her father had problems with alcohol, and that is why they must “have him under control”.

Liudmila also told me that her father raised her and her sister because their mother got seriously sick at a young age. She was hospitalized for many years before staying on her feet again.  I told Liudmila that perhaps it was not so strange then that her father became addicted to alcohol. He has been through a lot for a very long time, stressed out from having to raise two kids by himself while waiting for his wife to recover. Liudmila should thus consider it and not judge him so harshly. When Mr. Arkadiy suddenly passed away, Liudmila was crying.

She felt terrible that she had never told him that she loved him while he was alive. But, unfortunately, that was before Anthie’ was born, and Mr. Arkadiy never knew that Liudmila was expecting a baby – I feel very sorry about this.

I was also told about her stressed relationship with her mother when she was younger because of her authoritarian and despotic attitude. Her mother intervened and deprived Liudmila of many things when she was young because – she was a girl. It sounds confusing and weird, but that’s how it has been described to me.

Liudmila also told me that her elder sister did not have a good relationship with her mother. She also had problems with alcohol, and Liudmila and her sister are not too close, either. I could see that once Liudmila moved to Sweden. There were enormous quarrels between the sisters. They addressed various epithets to each other on the phone as long as their mother was alive.

Minsk-Belarus 2004-2006

Trafimovich also told me about her lesbian friend with whom she grew up within the building where she has been staying with our children since June 2017. She was very fond of this woman, and she expressed many warm feelings for her.

Ever since she moved to Stockholm, she has had frequent contact with her lesbian friend, who has been living and working in Germany for several years. And from what I understood, her friend completed some education as an intensive care nurse and is also certified as an ambulance driver. Liudmila wanted to invite her friend from Germany after our second daughter Alexandra was born.

We also discussed the possibility of her friend becoming Alexandra’s Godmother. But unfortunately, after Liudmila started to visit the Russian Orthodox in Stockholm and met Mariya Kaberska – now; Khatsanovska (Мария Каберская -Хацановская), this idea faded away more and more.

When I asked her why she chose to study psychology, the answer I received surprised me; “to find out who I am and understand myself better”. After a while in Stockholm, she also told me that she was visiting a psychotherapist in Minsk to cope with her insecurity, aggression, and emotional problems.

She also showed me provocative and suggestive photos of herself, captured before we met, and tried very hard to convince me that the images were made so she could “Remember her Youth”(!?). However, it was professional photos taken in a studio, and I understood their real purpose.

After the abduction in April 2017, I conducted some research in Minsk to try to understand why she abducted our children. I found out that Liudmila tried hard to cope with her aggression, pathological jealousy, and insecurity already back in Minsk. The information I received made me understand much better who she was because I was trying to help her with the same issues in Sweden.

She was also seeing a psychologist in Sweden starting in 2012, after the birth of our first daughter, up until 2017. Last time she saw her psychologist was just a couple of days before the abduction. The main reason for her therapy was her anger outburst issues and self-harming syndrome (borderline personality).

Nicolaos AA Cheropoulos
Father of Anthie’ and Alexandra
Stockholm, Oct. 2020
Reviewed Oct. 2023